Episode 106 - Who Is Having Good Sex at Midlife? Is This Possible? Everything You Want to Know With Sexpert Susan Bratton

My amazing guest today is Susan Bratton and she joined me today to talk all about sex at midlife (and beyond!).

Susan is a lifelong entrepreneur and is CEO of two companies. The 20, founded in 2019, is a supplement company specializing in libido support for sexual vitality. Through Personal Life Media, founded in 2006, Susan has authored and published 34 books and programs. Over 1,250,000 copies of her books have been enjoyed by lovers worldwide.

The Business Journal honored Susan as a “Silicon Valley Woman of Influence”.

A frequent and riveting speaker from the stage, on television, on podcasts, summits, in online video, and through her thousands of magazine and website articles, Susan invites lovers to embrace giving and receiving pleasure as a vital element of being alive. Susan believes that shame-free, frequent sexual pleasure is every man and woman’s birthright.

To get in touch with Susan -

Links to everything Susan shared:  https://personallifemedia.com
Sex toys mentioned:  https://members.personallifemedia.com/2022/02/sex-tech/
Videos to improve orgasm for women:  https://betterlover.com/playlist/penetration-orgasms/

Sponsors:

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi everyone. It's Sandy Kruse from Sandy K nutrition, health and lifestyle queen. And I'm here to show you that balanced living works. This is especially for all you ladies, over 40, we will cover a range of exciting topics with any special guests. And I really look forward to this season. Bye for now, Everyone. Welcome to Sandy K nutrition, health, and lifestyle queen. Today with me, we're gonna have a little bit of a racier conversation. We're gonna talk about all things sex at midlife. Oh yeah. And I've got expert Susan Bratton to come and talk to us about all of it. And it's a pretty important topic because everyone seems to be complaining as they reach midlife and beyond on that their sex life just keeps going downhill. So Susan is gonna come and talk to us about all of this and how to optimize your sex life with your partner, whether it's a new partner or a lifelong partner. It's such a great conversation. If you have young kiddos, you might not wanna listen to this while they're in the room. Just as a side note, as always, I've got a couple of announcements. First of all, I wanna thank you all so much for the amazing reviews that you give to me for my podcast. It means the world to a podcast caster. I cannot stress that enough, how much ratings and reviews in a few kind words mean to podcasters like myself in this giant world of podcasting. I started doing this now over two years ago and I am really, really honored and grateful for the, this opportunity to continuously share ways in which we can better our health and wellness as we age. And most of what I talk about is through alternative means this is not usually mainstream stuff. So I really appreciate my audience. I appreciate the loyalty. And if you love my podcast, please, please do great review with a few kind words and share it, share it with a friend, share it with somebody who you think might benefit as well. Thank you. Now, another announcement. I am speaking at the biohacking Congress in Boston on June 11th and 12th, tickets are available right now at 50% off with code boss, 50 B O S 50. And you can find the biohacking Congress and everything that you need on Instagram at biohacking Congress. Another conference I am speaking at, and it's a virtual one with another group of incredible speakers is between June 9th and 12th. And it is the women's biohacking conference. And this is a little bit different just because everything that is spoken about is geared towards women's best health, which I love. And obviously, you know, I advocate for now. One thing I am gonna talk about is the fact that I am a registered holistic nutritionist and I do have my own practice. I actually stopped seeing clients. I finished off with my last client in mid-March and I am open for consults not to take on long term clients, but for consults. Now, what do I consult on? I am certified in mastering functional lab testing. I do not actually do lab testing that can only be done by physicians. However, there are many functional lab tests such as the Dutch tests that you can go and get done yourself. Oh yes, you can. We do have a lot of availability of these tests that people do not know even exist to find out certain things. Also, the other thing that I understand very well is the difference between your regular lab ranges that you get from a lab versus functional or optimal ranges. Where do you want to be optimally? What do you need to do to enter that range in terms of diet, nutrition, supplements, lifestyle, that sort of thing. So that's one thing. Another thing I do is help optimize sleep through peri-menopause and menopause. It can be really difficult. Another thing I consult on are peptide bio regulators. I've recorded a few podcasts on this. These are not synthetic. I do not get involved in anything in relation to synthetic peptides. However, I do consult on peptide, bio regulators as supplements, hormones, streamlining your supplements. Now, this is a huge thing that especially women, they have all these supplements and multivitamins. They don't know what they should be taking. And when well I consult on that too. So if you wanna book a consult with me, send me an email, Sandy K nutrition.ca lastly, go follow me everywhere. I'm trying to be more active on TikTok on Twitter on Pinterest, you name it. I'm kind of there. So you'll find me on any platform, pretty much Sandy K nutrition. And now let's get to that recording with sex expert, Susan Bratton. I hope you guys are really enjoying this episode as much as I enjoy bringing it to you, but I have to talk to you a little bit about a product that I totally love. And this product is called wave block. Did you know that wireless earbuds, cell phones and many other Bluetooth products function by emitting radiation? Well, if you've been listening to me and following me for a while, you know that they do, did you know that this radiation is even more harmful for children than adults? In fact, in 2019 more than 250 scientists signed a petition asking the international public health organization to create stronger guidelines and warnings on the use of wireless and Bluetooth, electronics scientists have strong evidence to believe that EMF radiation causes several different health problems. Wave block products are perfect for you. If you always have your phoning your hand or at your head, or if you're using those air pods to listen to podcasters like myself for many hours a day here at wave block, they choose not to turn away from the latest and greatest technology. Hey, are you really going to tell your teenager that they can't use their air AirPods or how about their phone? Right? I'm sure you know exactly my pain. So at wave block, they dedicated themselves to hours of research, engineering and testing to create a safer way to use your favorite electronic products, wave block stickers, which have hundreds of five star reviews are made to easily attached to cell phones and wireless earbuds so that you can enjoy your favorite gadgets with lowered risk by significantly reducing your exposure to radiation. How the stickers are lab proven to Def EMF waves away from the brain. You can watch a video about how wave block stickers work@waveblock.com. Get 20% off today. When you use code Sandy K twenty@waveblock.com wave block products that protect you does designed in Los Angeles, California. Now remember Sandy K 20 will give you 20% off. And now back to the podcast. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Sandy K nutrition, health and lifestyle queen. Today with me, I have a special guest. Her name is Susan Bratton. Susan is a lifelong entrepreneur and is CEO of two companies. The 20 founded in 2019 is a supplement company that specializes in libido support for sexual vitality. And she also has another company called personal life media. And this one was founded in 2006. Susan has authored and published 34 books and programs over 1.2 million copies of her books have been by lovers worldwide. The business journal honored Susan as Silicon valley, woman of influence a frequent and riveting speaker from stage television podcasts, online video and through her thousands of magazine and website, article Susan invites lovers to embrace giving and receiving pleasure as a vital element of being alive. Susan believes that shame free frequent sexual pleasure is every man and woman's birthright. And with that, well, welcome to the show, Susan, thank you so much for coming

Speaker 2: 10:20

Sandy. K, it's so nice to be here with you today. Thank you. And I ha Hey, guess what, what, guess what I am doing today? What the next five days, tell me I'm doing, I'm doing a five day fast, a Prolon fasting, mimicking diet. Oh, do you know about Prolon?

Speaker 1: 10:36

I recorded with the chief medical officer of Prolon of, of L-Nutra. So the parent company

Speaker 2: 10:43

Altra yes. Uh, Vallter Longo or

Speaker 1: 10:46

It was Dr. William Hsu. It's their chief medical officer. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:51

I love the Prolon fast and next week, I'm going into the studio to do a video shoot for on my Instagram page. You know, I'm, I'm 60 years old. I'm having the best sex of my life. I teach passionate love making techniques. I have a supplement company. And what I can tell you is that your sexuality has three it's a three-legged stool. The first leg is understanding technique, be being a good pleasure giver and receiver of pleasure. The second is bedroom communication skills, but the third is sexual health and it all starts in the gut. Ah, and you can't make neurotransmitters. You can't make hormones. You can't, you get yeast infections. You get UDIs, you you're unhappy. You far too much to have sex, whatever it, you

Speaker 1: 11:38

Know, you're

Speaker 2: 11:39

Fat, you're bloated. You don't feel good if you're not eating well. Mm-hmm<affirmative>. So I love to talk to people who care about nutrition, because nutrition is the root of your libido of a good libido because your health and your sexual health, your libido is just a reflection of your overall health. When you feel good, you're horny. And when you feel bad, you're not. And so I thought you'd particularly enjoy the fact that I didn't realize you'd done a prolon episode.

Speaker 1: 12:13

I did. And I love you're like totally speaking my language because oh, no girl, let's face facts. If you are really not feeling well. Yeah. You're not into sex. Nope. And that's the bottom line. So taking care of your health first from the inside out is so important. I love that. You said that. Yeah. Yeah. I, and you know, it's funny. I have done many different fasts, but I have yet to do the prolong fast myself. How many times have you done that?

Speaker 2: 12:46

Mm, many half dozen, half dozen, at least maybe more.

Speaker 1: 12:51

Wow. You look amazing. By the way I, at 60 you look incredible and vibrant and alive. Thank you. And this is what I talk about, right? Like, you know, and I think sexual health is part of that. I hope you're all enjoying this week's topic. I have to talk to you about this healthy eating and lifestyle certificate program from the Canadian school of natural nutrition in Ottawa. Now, not all of you want to have a career in holistic health and holistic wellness, but you're really confused about all the information that's out there. Many of you want to commit to living a healthier life, but you just don't know where to start because you're just bombarded with so much information on what's right. And what's wrong. If this is you, then you really need to check out the healthy eating and lifestyle certificate from the Canadian school of natural nutrition in Ottawa. And don't worry, this is available to you from anywhere in the world, because it's all virtual. It's a series of fun workshops that will give you a sneak peek into the world of holistic nutrition and provide you with holistic nutrition tips for you and your family to learn, earn how to eat healthier. No prior knowledge of nutrition is required. You will learn all about a new way to look at nutrition and the role that nutrition plays in your overall wellbeing. You'll receive basic foundational knowledge about healthy fats, good digestion, gut health, and so much more. There are live virtual classes and they're happening on Tuesday and Thursday, evenings from six to 8:00 PM from May 10th to June 9th. And Hey, if you can't make it live, there's no problem. If you register, you'll receive a live replay after the event, find out more at www dot CSNN, ottawa.ca. And now back to the show, you know, I'm gonna first ask you, how did you become an expert in sexual health?

Speaker 2: 15:15

Yeah. Um, I, I wanted to know too, if you could read, we're gonna touch on a lot of points and in the beginning of the show, I really, I love the stuff you decided to ask me. You have a little list of things. This is the first one is how did I get here? Yeah. But what are the other ones? Just remind me what they are. Remind are listeners, what they are too. Will you,

Speaker 1: 15:33

Well, yeah, cuz we're gonna talk all about you. You describing yourself as a sexual biohacker and I have

Speaker 2: 15:41

Talk about

Speaker 1: 15:41

Biohackers. I have a lot of biohackers who listen to my show. Yeah. And we're gonna talk, you know, I, I also wanna know about a couple of things. Like what about faking it till you make it like fake it till you make it? I think a lot of married couples who, who have been in there for a long time. Yeah. Have do it that way. So we're gonna talk about that. We're also gonna talk about women who are not in and you know, hearing these horror stories, that things start to shut down down there. If you're not having sex regularly, we're gonna talk about how to spice things up in long term relationships and marriage and all those things. So I'm really excited about that.

Speaker 2: 16:29

Good. Yeah. The fake until you make it, I literally, as you were TA, as you were going through the list, it's, it's such a good list and they're the things women wanna know, um, the fake until you make it, I'm gonna do an article on that. That's a good one. Thank you for that prompt. I'm always looking for like, what have people, what haven't I told what haven't I talked about, because I'll go now, I'll go back to how I got into this. Yeah. Um, about, oh God, 20 years ago or so when I was in my early forties, um, I was married 11 years. It was my wedding anniversary with my husband, Tim. We're still married. We've been together 30 years now. I had a couple of gin martinis on our anniversary night and I got a little drunk. And when I get drunk, I don't get mean, but I do, my inhibitions are low. And I say, what I've been thinking, that's been bothering me. Okay. I'm I'm such a people pleaser that I'm always, I'm not tr I'm always trying to make everybody happy to my, to my own disadvantage, unfortunately. And um, I had been trying to make my husband happy for a decade at, to my own disadvantage, sexually and I, to him, I'm just, I don't know what to do. I just, I don't enjoy sex. And I feel like I want to, when we first got together, I enjoyed it. But it, you know, I hadn't had an orgasm ever from intercourse in 11 years of marriage. Mm. And you know, months of dating before then I knew he was the one and he was still the one I didn't wanna get divorced. Like I saw all my friends getting divorced. Yeah. And I knew it wasn't money cuz they were all employed. It was sex. They were cheating. They were having affairs. They were mad at each other. And most of it comes. I swear to God, Sandy, it comes down to the fact that it is so easy for a man to have an orgasm from intercourse and women struggle to achieve yes. Orgasm from intercourse. Yes. Uh, Dr. Lori mins even has a Ted talk called the orgasm gap, which is the gap, the Delta between how hard it is for women and how easy it is for men and how everybody thinks that's what sex is. And, and I agree that that's what sex is. Most people are heterosexual monogamous. They're in a long term relationship with an, an opposite gender opposite sex partner. And the woman's just not sexually satisfied. And the man's like, whoa, what your problem is, it's great for me. Right. It must be you. And then women are like, oh, it must be me. And, and they think, oh, I'm just not the kind of woman who can have an orgasm for intercourse. And over the last 20 years of being a sex expert and helping millions of people, I've what I've realized is that every person can have 20 male and female XX and X, Y chromosome, no matter what, your gender expression, all human BI, all homo sapiens can have 20 different kinds of orgasms. Some are from locations. You stimulate. Some are from techniques and some are from objects.

Speaker 1: 19:21

Whoa, whoa, whoa. And 20, did you just say 20?

Speaker 2: 19:24

I did. And all on my website at personal life, media.com. I have a whole series of article is called, come with me. The 20 kinds of orgasm challenge for people who are like, well, I wanna have more than one. Some people are satisfied with the one. They have more men than women. Yeah. But women realize, oh, I wanna have a clitoral orgasm. I wanna have a vaginal orgasm. I wanna have an orgasm from intercourse. I wanna have a GPO orgasm. Yes. I want, you know, whatever we wanna have. We, I have these experiences and most men think I'm one and done. They don't even understand they're further behind. And they orgasmic, um, awareness than women are. Yeah. They think, oh, when I, when I, I climax and I'm done. When in fact men can have all the same orgasms we have, we humans have all the same parts arranged in D an order. The only difference is that women have a urethra sponge and perineal sponge men have a prostate women have a vulva or a vagina that goes in. Men have a penis that goes out. We have all the same erectile tissue in our systems. So the biggest problem that we run into is that for men, they have a couple of benefit sexually. Number one, they have a testosterone, a dose of testosterone. Their body makes at night that blooms in the morning for them, they get a morning erection. They wake up horny. They're horny all the time. Number two, they're biologically wired to daily because they need to keep their sperm topped off cuz their destiny is to keep their line going. So they're biologically wired to need fresh sperms so that when we are ready, they can make a baby even long after menopause, et cetera. This is just built into the mail system. Right? And then the third thing is how, how good intercourse feels to them so that they can come almost too fast. Men's number one, sexual issue is premature. They, they need more stamina because they themselves so frequently, so quickly. They don't learn how to have stamina. So this orgasm gap that Dr. Laurie min so eloquently stated is really one of the things that I, I like to talk about a lot because other experts who are younger, you know, I said I was 60 years old. I've been around the block a few times. And um, younger sex experts are saying, you know, less emphasis on intercourse, more emphasis on other types of ways to have orgasm because you don't, you know, women can't orga all women, can't orgasm from intercourse. And I just call malarkey on all of that Sandy, because we are all able to have orgasms from intercourse without even touching our CLIs at the same, the tip of our CLIs at the same time, because our clitoral tissue is literally wrapped around our vagina. So the biggest issue is that is the third competitive advantage that men have. And that is that. Although we have pound for pound inch, for inch, the same amount of erectile tissue as our Malebo partners and they have this Audi and we have this in their Audi is three long chambers, the Corpus fungi and the Corpus. CASM two of those in one of the first. And there are these long tubes of erectile tissue that when they get turned on, which they get turned on really easily compared to us, cuz they're testosterone dominant. Mm-hmm<affirmative>, which is the hormone of lust and we're estrogen dominant. They're ready to go, boom. Their penis is hard and they're ready for sex. And we have more like all these nooks and crannies, I say it's like a, it's like a, an English muffin where our VVA has all the same erectile tissue, but it has to the, the, the, the blood has to seep into the nooks and crannies to plump our VVA up so that we have more surface area, which feels more pleasure signals that are sent to the brain to process that as pleasure. And so when I tell men what guys are always like, how do I make her have more intense? Ordos how do I get her to orgasm faster? What's the number one sex techniques. They're always looking for the shortcut, the fastest route to the goal. Cause the goal oriented. That's what testosterone does. Yeah. And I say slow down. Yes. Slow down and more. Yeah. And then cut that in half and then slow down even more they're so far ahead of us turn around to come back and get us. We're not turned on automatically. We have an arousal system that takes 20, 30 minutes to get turned on, add to the fact that our feet hurt and we need a foot rub. Our neck hurts. So we need a neck rub. We need to talk about our day and get that off our chest. We can't begin to get aroused until we're relaxed and going back 20 years ago, my husband and I, for the first decade of our marriage, we didn't understand any of these things. I mean, I've really learned these things in the last five or 10 years of studying human sexuality for two decades. I've just stitched all this together. And I'm like, all right, well here's what the reality is. Yeah. We, women are blaming ourselves for not feeling turned on. When the only reason we is that our husbands have rushed us the entire time we've ever had sex with them because they don't live in our bodies and they don't know. And we've been having sex under this patriarchal way of having sex rather the patriarchal way of

Speaker 1: 24:39

Having sex. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:41

So if you combine having crappy sex, your whole life, all the GMOs and the pesticides and the crappy food that is, that is available to us rather than the, the stuff we have to go seek, which is fresh, organic vegetables, you know, no wonder we're not in the mood. And then so interesting. A lot of women think, okay, well it's my hormones. My hormone hormones have made it so that I don't want sex anymore. Right. And it's not, it's literally not your hormones. Now. It is estrogen. If you have, um, if your vaginal tissue is thin and sex is painful. So you can do direct biodentical estrogen replacement into the intravaginal tissue, if you want to. And that works for very well. You can take exogenous testosterone replacement therapy. You can actually get what's called screen cream and the doctors call it screaming cream, but it's just a compounded testosterone. And I use organic SHA butter and wipe that on your collateral structure. These are sexual biohacking techniques that actually give you more. They make you hornier than give you, make you more Lu and yours have more intense orgasmic capacity.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Did you say Shea butter? Organic Shea butter.

Speaker 2: 25:53

Yeah. I just had my testosterone compounded and organic SHA butter.

Speaker 1: 25:56

Oh

Speaker 2: 25:57

My CLI.

Speaker 1: 25:58

Okay. Okay. So then some of the biohacks that you, like, you just mentioned a couple of them, one of them is the testosterone as a cream bioidentical and then there's the bioidentical or estrogen cream.

Speaker 2: 26:15

Yeah. Right. Riol and estradiol, a compound biased, I think bias.

Speaker 1: 26:19

And these ones are great for women in menopause. Right. Like they just, and what about D H E? Have you ever very good?

Speaker 2: 26:27

Yeah. Pre cause

Speaker 1: 26:28

It's the, it's a precursor. It's like the mother of the hormones. Right. So it goes on to make the other ones. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, I, I have to say it's, it's kind of, it's kind of a shock when you say that women use hormones as the reason for not wanting sex. Yeah. Right. But you're saying that's not true. So unless

Speaker 2: 26:54

It's painful sex,

Speaker 1: 26:55

Unless it's painful

Speaker 2: 26:56

Inter vaginal pain.

Speaker 1: 26:57

So what about like, what about women who never have sex? What about who are not in a relationship at all? What, what is the best thing for them? Because, you know, I have a few friends who are divorced or single and, and they're like, it's not that they don't want a life partner. They do, but they just haven't met them yet. How do you keep things alive and going when you're in menopause?

Speaker 2: 27:21

Yeah. Um, most, I think the best thing is masturbation. And, um, but I, I wanna explain exactly what I mean by that. So self-pleasure um, but I wanna go back to one other thing on the biohacking, in the hormone piece. Yeah. Um, the, because women think it's their hormones, but it's not it's um, the fact, the fact that they haven't been given the time to become aroused and the right genital touch and stroking and turn on and breast play and kissing and adoration and encouragement and full body touch and, um, loving kindness and not being rushed. And having our partners really take their time to get us turned on and allow our bodies to do what they will do when we give them time. And that goes back to faking orgasm. So I'm gonna insert that here. Yeah. And may I push out your question about

Speaker 1: 28:18

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Talk

Speaker 2: 28:19

About it. Sure. Because, um, really the very for sexual biohacking, the number thing that you can do is take a nitric oxide booster. And I like an organic nitric oxide booster. They're very hard to find, which is why I started my supplement company. Okay. I started my company. I'll send you some, do I have'em here? Yeah, I have it here. Um, this is flow F L O w flow nitric oxide booster. It's an organic nitric oxide booster it's made from organic watermelon. Okay. It's made from organic spinach and it has pine bark in it. And organic vitamin C from ACE roll cherries. Those are precursors just like DHA is a precursor to our hormones. Nitric oxide is a Gaius signaling molecule, our body that, that, that is our vascular tone. It takes our, our blood supply that goes all over. Our body is responsible for sending blood where it's needed. We don't have enough blood for our whole body all the time. We only have enough blood to go to our BR. We send blood to our brain. When we're thinking we send blood to our heart and our, our muscles. When we're exercising, we said blood to our stomach. When we're digesting, we send blood to our genitals when we are making love and our nitric oxide ability to produce nitric oxide diminishes over time. So that by the time we're 50, we have half the nitric eyesight production we had when we were 20 Viagra and Cialis and LA Vitra, those SILS, et cetera, they work they're called PDE five inhibitors. What PDE five inhibitors do is allow more nitric oxide to open the blood vessels, to keep, keep them open longer so that men get harder. Firmer erections mm-hmm<affirmative>, it's literally working on that gases molecule. And interestingly enough, here's a nutritionist fact for you. You'll love leafy green vegetables and BES and di and cabbage and things like that are what are uses to create nitric oxide. So if we are not eating tons of leafy greens, eating our eats every day, which by the way, are great for methylation, um, turning on good genetic expression and cleaning out our neurotransmitter cycles so that we have plenty of good dopamine and serotonin. If we're not eating those foods, we are not getting enough precursors to make nitric oxide. If we are using an, an antibacterial mouthwash, cuz we think it's making our mouth cleaner, it's killing all the bacteria in our mouth that convert the nitrates to nitrates. And if we're using proton pump inhibitors or acid blockers, because we're, we're have an alkaline enough diet and we're eating white flour and white sugar and drinking too much alcohol and we've got heartburn and acid reflux and we're taking those proton pump inhibitors and nitric ox or, um, uh, acid blockers that stops the cycle from nitrate to nitrate nitrate to nitric oxide. So we could be literally not eating any vegetables using Listerine taking Xanax Xantac Xantac Xantac and have a flat line libido. And we think it's our hormones. Ah, and it's like, no, it's literally the entire nitric oxide system. Yeah, because the, the, the pelvis is where we need to get the blood flow. We need to fill up all the erectile tissue with blood. So it gets plump. So we feel plenty of pleasure signals and can achieve orgasm and our vagina doesn't lubricate. So we talk about painful sex. Mm-hmm<affirmative>, I'm dry. I'm so dry. That's not estrogen, estrogen plumps up the tissue. It helps keep the skin tissue plump, but the vagina is land. It doesn't have, um, any kind of way of getting wet. What it does is your body recruits blood plasma down into the pelvic bullet, seeps through the vaginal walls, the vaginal mucosa and wets them with arousal. So if you are hurried and you are doing any of those things, like not eating leafy greens and you, you, uh, aren't making nitric oxide and you don't have good blood flow, it's making you dry. Mm. And when you're dry, you don't feel like having sex. Right. Cause it hurts. Right. Right. So it's all goes back to the foods you eat. It all goes back to nutrition.

Speaker 1: 32:41

But I guess when you're younger, you know, because you're just, everything works a little bit better. Everything works better, um, than you don't really worry about that. Right? Like you don't worry about that when you're 30 years old. I mean not a lot of 30 year olds I know would, or I didn't certainly think about that when I was 30. And now that I'm 52. Yeah, of course. I'm thinking about that. Great. Oh, well, thank you.

Speaker 2: 33:06

You look 30.

Speaker 1: 33:07

Thank oh, well aren't you sweet Susan. It's all the good

Speaker 2: 33:10

Food.

Speaker 1: 33:11

<laugh> I guess it's, it's like we, you know, the food is definitely a huge factor. And I just love that you're talking about this. It's huge. You're eating. If you're eating a lot of processed foods with additives and preservatives and things that you can't pronounce. Well, I don't know how you're gonna be healthy with that. Right?

Speaker 2: 33:28

Yeah. You're poisoning yourself. It's all chemicals and it's, they're all toxins.

Speaker 1: 33:32

Totally. Now what about if all these things you're doing all these

Speaker 2: 33:40

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 33:40

Meaning you're eating well. And I, I love that you talked about the nitric oxide like that. Yep. And that supplement is good for men and women. Well, it's called yeah. It's for everybody. It's for everybody.

Speaker 2: 33:53

Remember we're all the same.

Speaker 1: 33:54

Yeah. Right, right. Kind of. Well, we are, we don't look the same, but okay. Um, but you know, you're doing all these things, but you've got one partner who doesn't wanna slow things down. Yeah. And you know, it's that whole, like you said, one and done or fake it till you make it. Let's just make sure we keep this thing going and keep the marriage going. Let's make sure we do it once a week. And so what do you say about that?

Speaker 2: 34:25

Yeah. Um, I think that, and, and this is what happened when I had those two Jin martinis. I said to my husband, I love you, but I'm not in love with you. You've emotionally checked out of our relationship. And I know it's because you're mad at me cuz I don't wanna have set with you and I don't wanna have sex with you because I'm tired of feeling like a mastery sock. I'm, I'm tired of you getting off and me not. Mm. And I don't wanna have to use my vibrator to have an orgasm every time I want us to be in love. Again, I want sex to be great for us and we need to fix this or our marriage is gonna die. And I don't don't wanna ruin my daughter, our daughter's family and childhood. And I don't wanna go through a divorce. I we're great together. Why we just need to figure this out. And so we went to therapist, the first therapist we went to said, well, it's just natural, but things decline. And we walked out of there and my husband was like, we're not going back to her. We're fixing our sex life. Yeah. And then went to another therapist and she really helped me uncover get over some childhood trauma that I had stuffed. I, I was like, I'm done with it. It's not gonna rule me. But the problem was, I was dissociating in the bedroom when my husband and I made love. I, I, I just like checked out. I just evaporated. I couldn't stay present because I'd been sexually abused. So I went through a very, very, um, good experience of remembering it all discussing all the insults in injustices. Um, the remembering who I was as a child and the beautiful little girl that I was that got destroyed by this man who, uh, abused me, my stepfather. And then I got into the ability to be able to have forgiveness for him because he was actually worse off than I was. He was a monster. And I was just a beautiful little girl that got tangled up with a monster. And so once I was able to actually forgive the whole thing, that really helped me move through that. And my husband really helped me stay in the sexual connection with him. When, when he would see me leave, he'd bring me back and he'd look me in my eyes. And he, he spent a lot of time holding me and he spent a lot of time doing Yoi. Massage. Yoi is a beautiful word for the VVA. Um, I don't use the word vagina because vagina is just the birth canal and the canal for intercourse. But, um, I use the word VVA because it's our entire genital system. It's the external, the it's kind of like a word you can use for, Hey, there's more there than just the shoot. Just the shoot you put your penis into. Right. I feel like the vagina is like that patriarchal perspective. Ah, and I wanna talk about the holistic female genital system because once you activate the whole system you have in all those 20 kinds of incredible orgasms, you have the best sex of your life. And you're like, oh my God, I had no idea how good this could feel. I'm totally in love. Again. This is incredible. I feel empowered. My creativity's through the roof. I felt, I feel grounded and connected to the earth. I feel connected to all living beings. I'm like a super woman now because I'm having this great sex and I so deserve it. It is, as you said, our birthright, Sandy. Yeah. So once I started this YNY, which is another word for the VVA, Y O N I it's a to trick, love making word. And what I teach are heart connected, conscious lovemaking techniques. What you see on porno is friction checked out, perform performance. I wouldn't call it art friction. Right. And that's all people know how to do. Just get in pump, dump, run. Yeah. Don't no loving, no holding, no touching, no eye connection, no hard connection. Totally. No slowness, no sensuality. That's all the stuff that I like that women like. And frankly, men like it too. They just don't know it. They don't know. And they're so goal oriented. They've never stopped ponder it. So ones who tell them what to do. They're like, okay, I can do that because ultimately what men wanna do is they want to give women incredible pleasure. They just don't understand us.

Speaker 1: 38:35

Yes.

Speaker 2: 38:36

They're just different. Yeah. That's all it is. They don't mean, they mean, well,

Speaker 1: 38:40

Yeah, I think you're right.

Speaker 2: 38:41

They really do. They're doing, they're doing the best they can do. And they think they're doing better than they, they are because testosterone makes them overly confident. It has its pluses and minuses testosterone. And one of the minuses guys think they're better and better than they are. They think, or a nine or a 10. And they're a six or a seven. If they're fricking lucky, they know nothing. So except stuff they've learned on porn that they're doing to us, which is we're not adult stars. We don't have sex all day. This is not how our bodies need to be treated with delicate women with app episiotomies and childbirth scars and incontinence and pro lap, you know, prolapsed, uteruses, and, um, UTIs. And you know, like all the stuff that comes with it, vaginal infections, yeast overgrowth, and you know

Speaker 1: 39:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:24

Things which there's a cure for all those things too, which comes into the sexual biohacking piece. They're also interrelated. Aren't they?

Speaker 1: 39:30

They are absolutely. Now you mentioned Yi massage. Yes. What's a, okay. So I know what a Yoi egg is.

Speaker 2: 39:39

Yeah. Yoi eggs go up inside the vagina. Yeah. And you, um, your vagina kind of learns how to hold them and to it tones itself because it's holding them in there. So the Yoi is the woman's genital. So the egg goes in the woman's genital and that's why it's called a yoy egg. So a Yoi massage is just manual pleaing by the hands of your partner while you lie there and receive it. So you can get all of that tissue plumped up and get that blood flowing. Mm-hmm<affirmative>, it's not just touching the CLI. It's actually touching the, the groin, the belly, the, your sweet little butt cheeks, the insides of your thighs, the, the outer labia, the inner labia, the per perineum, excuse me, all of these parts, not just inside or touch the clip. Like this is what I teach men. I teach men something called the bullseye touch technique because they're so oriented to the goal of get their penis inside and have an orgasm out the hell. You have one,

Speaker 1: 40:38

Yes.

Speaker 2: 40:39

That they just go right in and we are not ready for that, what we need. And this is what I teach them is think about a woman as a bullseye. And you're used to just shooting right for the center. But what I want you to do is I want you to start on the outside rings and work your way in. So I want you to broke her hair and kiss her eyelashes and kiss her neck. And then I want you to tell her you love her and hold her and stroke her whole body and rub her feet. If they hurt because for women, our feet take a beating in the shoes we wear. And if our feet hurt, we can't really relax and we can't get aroused till we're relaxed. And we let any emotions go. That need to be, let go.<affirmative> one of the, um, things that I give away for free that I'll give your listeners. They can share it with their partners. If they're lucky enough to have one that is a, an embrace it's called the soulmate embrace it's at soulmate embrace.com. And essentially it teaches men how or people, any gender, how to hold a woman so that she can relax and feel safe and get things off her chest, and then feel the beginnings of her arousal and desire for her part because you have libido desire and arousal libido is your body and how it performs. And if you don't have enough nitric oxide, if you don't, if, if you need estrogen in your vagina, so it doesn't hurt to have sex. Um, if you need an O shot, which is another sexual biohacking thing, the P R P injected into your CLI tissue absorbs and brings new growth back as you atrophy with aging, if you use a VFI, the VFI gold is an inter vaginal device. I've got one right here. Um, it's an intravaginal device that actually goes inside your vagina and it uses red light therapy. Okay. Photo biomodulation to stimulate mitochondrial growth, to re thicken that thinning tissue that happens with menopause. And it has vibration that does keel toning, and it has warmth that re collagenates the vaginal mucosal lining. And this is at, this is at joy lux.com/susan. If you go there, they know I sent you and you get a little bonus with your, you get a gift with your purchase, joy luck.com/susan. This is very, very good for rejuvenating the vagina when it's painful.

Speaker 1: 43:08

Can I interrupt you for a sec? Yeah, go ahead. Cause I am a huge fan of red light therapy IU. I've been using it for a good four or five years. We built a therapy room instead of a gym in my house. And so we have infrared, we have red light therapy. So there, I, I mean, I know a lot of the studies that relate to red light therapy, but I don't know a lot about it as it relates to that, to, uh, VFI. And so I'm really, so there's gotta be some studies attached to that.

Speaker 2: 43:40

Oh yeah. On the website. There's

Speaker 1: 43:42

Okay, good. I'm gonna make sure I put that in my notes.

Speaker 2: 43:45

Yeah. Um, photobiomodulation stimulates mitochondrial energy, so it stimulates cellular growth. So for example, I use it on my hair because I had long haul COVID and I lost about half of my hair from the virus. And so I use that every morning and I put my VFI inside me while I'm scrolling Instagram and, and DMing you and liking all your posts.

Speaker 1: 44:09

<laugh> see. That's. And, and do you, is it recommended that you use that regularly, like couple times a week or?

Speaker 2: 44:17

Yeah, every other day for eight weeks is the very first, um, remediation protocol. I love that. And then you can use it as needed and you own it so you can use it forever. Yeah. I used to have to send women to get the RF treatments and yes. Treat treatments and things like that. And they actually create damage. And then that grows new tissue. Yes. Where the VFI doesn't do any damage at all and grows new tissue. So I prefer photobiomodulation warmth and vibration for, I like it reconstituting the vaginal muco yeah.

Speaker 1: 44:49

I think that's wonderful. I'm definitely gonna put that in the notes. Yeah. Because I hear about this a little, you know, not a little, a lot often that sex is just not pleasurable. So as we kind of get to that midlife stage, it's just not as fun as it used to be. So I like that you have the different stages of what you need to do to get to that point. So yeah. Very good.

Speaker 2: 45:14

Very good. Yeah. So libido is how your body reacts. Arousal is the arousal is the stair step ladder that you climb to get more and more turned on. That takes a lot longer for women than men. So we need to slow it down and get more, yeah. Full body touch and yoy massage bulb massage. And then we can have oral pleasure and then we can be penetrated, but we can't just be penetrated. It's like a guy wouldn't have sex without a heart on, so why should we, and just cuz our heart on takes 20 minutes to 30 minutes to get, instead of one second, like his doesn't mean that we are on his timeframe. He needs on our timeframe. So we need to demand that and we need to teach our partners how to slow down and, and give us what we need. And desire is the other, it's like a, a ven diagram with the three interlocking circles. Um, your turn on is found in the combination of libido desire and arousal and desire is how you feel about yourself and how you feel about your partner. Do you feel desirable and do you desire your partner? And a lot of times women beat ourselves up for our imperfections because hormone our hormone, our lead hormone is estrogen. It it's a molecule of judgment. It's an molecule of safety. So it's always looking for what's wrong to keep us safe because we are prey. We're not, we're not, we're not the predator. We're the prey in evolution women are. And so we're always worried, which is why we need a, so soulmate embrace to calm us down first. And so we think we see everything wrong with ourselves. A my belly fat, oh my God. Oh my wrinkly skin. Oh my saggy boobs. Our male body partners do not see that. They think we look really good. Testosterone has rose colored goggles. Just like he thinks he's better in bed than he is everything that you look better to him than you look to yourself. And you just have to believe that. Yeah. And so you have to get over your own audio image issues and you gotta get your gut moving. So you're healthy. And then arousal is that time that it takes. So it really is that combination of those three things that really help a woman start to begin to enjoy sex. And I have a website called better lover.com with hundreds of videos that I've shot. And on there, there's a whole playlist about how to achieve a penetration orgasm from intercourse. Even if you never have, I go through systematically. So you can see cuz every woman's so different. I don't know what it is. That's holding you back. Right. But the, I go through systematically, all the things. So you can be like, oh no, I'm doing that. Oh no, I'm doing that. I'm doing, oh my God. I'm not doing that. That's what I need so much out at eye. Not figure that out. And then you start getting that and you start having orgasms from intercourse. You can lie there and come the time you're being penetrated and have the most incredible sex or intercourse with your male body partner. All you need to do is learn how and every woman is

Speaker 1: 48:21

Capable that. Okay. Do you see the surprise on my face? Really?<laugh> those of you who are just listening. I do have a, a quiz look on my face because I'm like, okay, I need to read up on this. But you did say there are 20 different types of orgasm a woman can have that are not related to the clitoris and a vibrator. How did you, well,

Speaker 2: 48:47

Um, or are they, one of them is one of them is the clitoral orgasm. So there's 19 more.

Speaker 1: 48:52

Okay. Like, do you wanna, do you want, tell me like how, how like, is it like, cause you know, is the G spot real cause there's

Speaker 2: 49:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. It's not G spot. It's the second erectile tissue system. Okay.

Speaker 1: 49:05

It's

Speaker 2: 49:05

Um, it's called the urethral sponge and um, it's real, it runs up the vagina. So, um, I'll just, I will show this to you. I know that your podcast is an audio podcast, but maybe you can take a little clip of this or something. I

Speaker 1: 49:23

Can put it on my YouTube channel, Susan. Okay.<laugh> good.

Speaker 2: 49:26

And, and of course your Sandy K everywhere. So it'll be easy to

Speaker 1: 49:29

Find easy to find. Yes. Absolut.

Speaker 2: 49:33

So what I'm holding up here is the outer, um, the VVA, the outer skin of our female genital system. So we have the, the Mons Venus at the top, and then we have the under the pubic hair. We have the outer labia and then inside, we have the inner labia. We have the opening, which is called the vestibule. We have the CLI hood, which is part of the top of the outer labia in underneath the CLI hood. We have the CLI tip and the CLI shaft, the shaft goes up and between the pubic bone and inside, we've got the legs of the CTAL structure, which are called the Quora. They actually go kind of up and inside. And then we have the I'm sorry, the arms. I said that wrong. We have the arms of the clitoris called the Cora. They go kind of up inside, along the top of the vagina. And then we have the, uh, CLI legs. Those are called the vestibular bulbs. They're underneath the outer labia. They're the spongy pads on the outer labia that get plumed up. When you have good sets, the that's the first structure of erectile tissue. The CLIs. The second is this long tube that goes inside the vagina in. And most people know that the G up inside the vagina that's one place, but it also comes out on the face of the vagina where the urine comes out. There's a second G spot there with that spongey tissue. And then the third spongey tissue is called the perineal sponge. And that's underneath the vagina between the vagina and the rectum. There's a spongy tissue there that gets plumped up when you have sex. So entire vaginal opening inside the vestibule is full of erectile tissue. If I peel way, and this is the like underneath your skin, what is under there? This is the three erectile tissue systems. The, this is the CLI, which is the, a tip, the shaft, the arms and the legs. This is the urethral sponge, which people call a G spot. That's wrapped around the urethra, which is where your peepee comes out of your bladder and shoots out the front of your opening. Your vestibule, the pee comes out above your vaginal opening. So your peepee comes out and then there's your, and then there's your anus. Those are your three exit areas. Well, that urethral sponge is exactly the same as your male body partners. His goes down the length of his penis and he both and urinates out of that tube. So do we,

Speaker 1: 52:03

Oh,

Speaker 2: 52:04

We and urinate out of our urethral sponge. It's an erectile tissue system and, all women can. And it's recruited from the blood plasma down through these little glands called hang on. I think I have a picture of it here.

Speaker 1: 52:23

So ladies, you are not peeing if that happens. No, it's, it is not. I know, but I've heard that some, some people have thought that it is

Speaker 2: 52:34

Well because it's coming out of the same place and it, And it's watery. Yeah. But here's the schemes glands down the tube, all the blood runs into them. And then when you have this contraction, it squirts or trickles or dribbles out of where your pee comes out.<affirmative> and there are also some little gills on each side of that exit that the can come out of too. We have these little gills down there. That's so funny.

Speaker 1: 53:00

Interesting. So that's one of the ways in which we can achieve orgasm. One of the 20

Speaker 2: 53:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Female and actually, and orgasm or separate systems from the body. So men can without an orgasm and women can without an orgasm. We just often tie them together. But a lot of women are like, I'm not sure I'm feeling an orgasm when I sometimes. And I'm like, right. You, you may not be. Oh, um, and, and so that's another kind of orgasm. Um, there's vaginal orgasms, specifically cervical orgasms, there's, um, anal GSMs. There's a lot of nerve endings in the anus. And some women are very wired to feel incredible pleasure from anal sex, not just vaginal sex, some women prefer it. Um, we have nipple gams and breast gams. We have mouth and kissing gams. We have throat gams. Um, when we are, um, giving oral pleasure to a male bodied partner, the penis can stroke the back of our throat. And that gag reflexes actually just an orgasmic contraction. And we've negatively thought about it as like we're gagging. It's just, it's just, you learn to realize that you open to that and that's actually, what's gonna make you have orgasms. You can actually have an while you're having a throat GSM because the whole tube is one, one unit it's connected. So it's like a S Fiker system. So when one thing contracts, the other thing contracts, that's why one of the best ways to get really aroused is to have your nipples stimulated while you're kissing. Because both of those things in Gorge or bring the blood flow to your VVA the way down in your pelvis, it's turning on and filling up your C literal structures with blood, just from kissing and breast play. That's why four play is so, so, so hot, sexy, and a turn on and gets you going,

Speaker 1: 55:00

Wow. Oh my gosh, you are a wealth of information serious, but you know, I'm, I'm actually sitting here thinking, well, when you're younger, let's say you have had a partner. Like you said, you're with you're with your husband for 30 years when you're younger, all of that happens naturally, all that foreplay, all that fun. And so, you know, essentially you're saying that just because as your midlife doesn't mean it can't happen, but it's almost like a lot of women who are in these long term relationships, all that foreplay has been forgotten. Right. That happened when we were younger and it was natural to us when we first met our partners and we were so enthralled with them that it was natural. And then, you know, 22, 25, 30 years later, you're like, all right, we gotta somehow bring this back. Right?

Speaker 2: 55:56

Yeah. One of the ways that I recommend bringing it back is through a couple, starting an expanded orgasm practice. I mean, you want that new relationship energy that makes you feel like teenagers. Again, the only way you get that is by doing new things together. And, um, one of the newest things I'm working on is, um, helping people create their sex life bucket list, because like anything, unless you have a goal for what you wanna learn, you can't achieve anything. So you're doing the same old thing you've always been doing in you're bored to death. What would you wanna do instead? And there's lots of things you can do. Sex positions, role, play sex in different locations, all this stuff. But one of the things that I think is a really learn how to. I have a program called female liquid orgasm that teaches couples or single step by up how to release her feminine waters. So she has what I think is one of the most profound sexual experiences that a woman can have, but the expanded orgasm practice something. My husband and I have been doing for going on 20 years. We're having a date later today is a CLI stroking technique, a yoy massage, and CLI technique. That is very, very, very nurturing for her because it allows her to get into her orgasmic brainwave state. It allows her body to get fully and goed. It really helps her get turned on so that, and it helps her learn how to receive and her partners who really just give and to, to get connected in this limbic turn on. That gets them both feeling really good and connected together rather than him just penetrating her. And she just submitting to it. So I think the expanded orgasm practice is probably one of the very best things. Restitute the lady parts, reconnect with your partner, get some of the orgasms you've been missing and begin to cross train those orgasms. So, um, I'm just giving away resources, um, so that you, something in here is gonna appeal E everybody's at a different place in their sex life. And I don't know where you are. So I just like to throw out a lot of things, because there's gonna be one thing that you're gonna be like, yeah, I need that soulmate embrace. Yeah. I need expand her orgasm tonight. Yeah. I wanna learn to female, liquid, orgasm, whatever the other ones we talked about. I'm always, you know, just like here, start someplace in your inquiry because your pleasure comes from knowledge. Fear is what shuts you down. Fear and shame, knowledge opens you up. And there's, as you can tell so much to know, We're we had one hour together and, and, and it's been like remodeling your entire brain around how you think about right. Totally. Nobody's explaining this stuff. Right. So thank you for having me on and giving me the opportunity to tell more women, because that's what I love people. I just love to help people connect hearts in pleasure. That's that's my passion is passion.<laugh>

Speaker 1: 59:02

I love it because I think, um, not talking about these things and pleasure for women is kinda one of the reasons it got us here in the first place, right? Like, so people who are speaking about it, people like yourselves who are educating about it, I think it's really important. Like what, and, and I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna leave our listeners with this. So some will say, eh, who cares? I don't care about having a good sex life, whatever. I'll be complacent for the rest of my life. Let's let's get into as a wrap up. What of health benefits of having healthy sex your whole life as a female?

Speaker 2: 59:45

Yeah. Well, this is one of the things I learned Sandy, and that is that I can only help those who want to be helped. Yeah. And so, if you're still listening to Sandy and I, on this particular segment, then you are someone who does still want to have good sex. All the women who didn't didn't even listen to this episode, you're right. They already counted themselves out of it. So you can only do what you can do. I'm here for you. If you want me that's number one, number two, let's go. Let's go back to talking about solo pleasure because it sex really is a use it or lose it thing. We atrophy, we get vaginal atrophy mm-hmm<affirmative> and over time we don't have orgasms that are as tense as they were intense as they were when we were younger. That's why I've had six oh, shots to my CLI structure because at 60 I'm having really good, really intense orgasms. That feel as good as when I was 30, but I orgasm so many different ways now and so much better than I did when I was 30. And only way I could come was using a vibrator on my CLI. Now vibrators on your clitoris are very, very, very, very smart to do. And I would actually get, I would activate your entire Veva. There are basically four kinds of vibrators. And I think that if a woman would use any one of her sex toys, every single day, she possibly can. She'll be more around. She'll be more turned on. She'll be more en Gorge. Sex will feel better. She'll start orgasming better. When she does get with a partner, everything will be easier. You can't really wear your clip out using a vibrator. You might temporarily make it a little numb by over-stimulating it, but that goes away in a very short time. You can't become dependent on a vibrator as the only way to have an orgasm. What vibrators do is they stimulate your tissue so that it becomes easier to achieve orgasm. But if you cross train with different types of vibrators, then you actually become even more multi orgasmic and you have more neural pathways to pleasure. So that when you're with a partner everything's just less, you have just less performance anxiety.

Speaker 1: 1:01:54

Yeah. Cause you're yeah, like you're like priming yourself for when that partner does come into your life. Right. And

Speaker 2: 1:02:01

You're, you're keeping all that tissue en goed,

Speaker 1: 1:02:04

Giving

Speaker 2: 1:02:04

Yourself a nice clip every day. So, and it's not just click, remember there's three erectile tissues structures. Yeah. Right. So you wanna get the whole VVA in play, not just the tip of the clip. So the four different kinds of vibrators are there's the liquor. I like the vol up by fun factory. Some women swear by that kind of a liquor, more than anything else. The second kind is the womanizer. That's an air stimulator. It's a clip sucker basically. And some women that's their favorite thing. And that's the one that they love. Then there is vibrators themselves and there are different kinds. There's rumbly readers and buzzy vibrators. And you could have something like the tango X from we, I that's a buzzy little pocket rocket, or you could have, and it has a point to it. So you can just like, get it right on the spot. Or you can use something big, like the wand from we, I, or from the magic wand. And those are real big rumbly vibrators. You can use'em all around your outer labia on your moms. They're really good at that. Plus super strong CLI vibration. So for a lot of women, they need super strong CLI vibration. The problem is that when that's the only way you can come, you're missing some of the most delicate and be beautiful orgasmic ecstasy, because you need to train yourself to come with a real light touch too. This is what you're doing. You're expanding your orgasmic capacity, using pleasure tools. So there's vibrators. And then the fourth one is what I would call an internal vibrator. Something that goes in the vagina. There are pulsate from fun factory, like the Tron surf or things like that that are very good. You can actually put it inside your vagina and hands free. It will thrust inside your vagina and get all that tissue really good and going and juicy and wet. And that's really good if you haven't had intercourse for a while, or you could use like the womanizer duo, which has both the air stimulator, plus it has a GPO vibrator that curves around and goes inside your vagina. But if there's only, if you only have money for one vibrator to me, this, um, and I'm holding it up and I'll describe it, this the miss buy, and there's a longer one. I don't think I have it right here called the lady buy. It's a slightly larger one. I personally like the lady buy. Cause I, I have a big vagina. I'm a, I'm almost six feet tall. I'm a really big woman. And I like the bigger one, but there's lots of women who have pretty small compact vaginas. And they only like the smaller one, the lady buy and the MIS buy buy stands for two it's a German company. And, um, the buy is, um, an internal vibrator that goes inside your vagina while this external pad touches the second GPO and the clitoris. So you're getting dual vibration, internal and external. And for anyone that's trying to activate her Yoi, I think, and I like Jade eggs. I think they're very good. I sell CEA day SALs J egg to, to all my fans and followers, because I think she's the very best at describing exactly how to activate your vagina with an egg. It's not just about sipping it in there and leav it in there. But,

Speaker 1: 1:05:19

And sorry, I wanna just interrupt you for one sec. Yeah, go ahead. The, the, the Jade egg or the YNY egg, whatever you wanna call it, that's a good way to what, what does that even do? Does that keep the tissues tone? Tone. Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:05:33

And it helps with wetness.

Speaker 1: 1:05:34

Okay. Okay. Sorry.

Speaker 2: 1:05:37

And tone activates the muscles and the tissue.

Speaker 1: 1:05:40

So they are, that is positive.

Speaker 2: 1:05:42

Oh,

Speaker 1: 1:05:42

Very positive. Yeah. No, you know, you hear so much, you hear so much controversial stuff about these things like you'll get, and, and I personally don't buy it, you know, when, uh, Gweneth Paltro. Yeah. Uh, she came out with this and, and then there were so many people who, Dr.

Speaker 2: 1:05:58

Jennifer

Speaker 1: 1:05:59

Gunter, they were totally criticizing her. I'm like, well, like it's, it's not, you're not gonna put something dirty inside you anyway. Like, come on. People like they were saying it's unsanitary. And anyway, there was a lot of criticism and I feel like I, I, I just, wasn't a fan of the, the criticism. Let's just say,

Speaker 2: 1:06:18

Well, I think what Dr. Gunter was trying to do, she's a gynecologist, she's a board certified gynecologist. And I think her biggest concern is there's a lot of knockoff products out in the market that are just crystal and H stone that can Harbor bacteria. The Jade egg that I recommend from C is a, um, she actually owns a piece of Jade from Canada where you are, oh, um, she bought a giant Jade piece of stone and she has Jade made to her specifications from this very, very, very hard Jade that immediately warms to your body. Oh, okay. She has very beautiful properties for immediately worn to your body and it's non forests. So I think that's important. And remember that our MDs are taught many, many things, many important things, but they're not taught everything too. And so I think we're all always working together in a learning process. Totally. And I think that Dr. Gun's strategy was just that she wanted to make sure women were safe and protected and it's always reasonable, but I've had a J a for years and recommended them and women. Some women love them. Some women love things like the lady buying MIS buy instead where it's giving vibration, you know, different people like different sensations. And I'm just here to support wherever you are. I meet you wherever you are, because your sex life and your journey and your path and your history and your body are as unique as every other. Person's, it's never one size fits all.

Speaker 1: 1:07:53

Yeah. I like that. Do you have a list of all of your favorite vibrators on your website? You do. So that's on your website.

Speaker 2: 1:08:03

Yeah. I'll send you a link to that.

Speaker 1: 1:08:04

Yeah. Um, I mean, geez, like there's so much information here. I

Speaker 2: 1:08:09

Know

Speaker 1: 1:08:09

A lot of information and

Speaker 2: 1:08:11

We packed a lot of,

Speaker 1: 1:08:12

We did. We did, is there anything that you'd like to add that I, that we may have forgotten or you have forgotten? I think we got, there's

Speaker 2: 1:08:21

A million things I could, but no,

Speaker 1: 1:08:22

<laugh>,

Speaker 2: 1:08:22

We should just like be okay. What, what I'd like to know is for you in this conversation, what were your biggest aha moments?

Speaker 1: 1:08:32

The 20 different orgasms

Speaker 2: 1:08:34

<affirmative>

Speaker 1: 1:08:35

That was, and, and, and through, like you were saying through tissues, like you just said through oral sex and gagging and how that, I mean, I'm, I'm a little bit blown away, Susan. Yeah. Just by all the information I learned he today as a woman who's been married for 22 years. Yeah. You know, like, I think that there's a lot to learn in our journeys if we wanna go there.

Speaker 2: 1:09:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:09:06

Just like what you said, you can't make somebody want this, but if you want it, it's there to learn and you are definitely an expert to learn from.

Speaker 2: 1:09:15

Well, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:09:16

No, I really appreciate you coming today. So where where's the best place for somebody to get in touch with you?

Speaker 2: 1:09:23

I think personal life, media.com is kind of the hub of all of the spokes of my wheel. Um, and I've got thousands of articles I've written over the years on there. And, um, I think that that's a good place to start because you can use the search box and you can search for anything I've mentioned. And my articles about it will come up and often those will lead you to videos on my other website. So I think that's the best place. And then I think follow me on Instagram is also fun because that's, that's my kind of like just personal self-express along with, um, wise in wise advice. I know it's my name. My name is Susan S U S a N Bratton, B R a T T O N. So you can find me at Susan brat

Speaker 1: 1:10:07

And I am following you. And I did notice you've got, you've got all these exercises that you're doing, and I just love everything that you represent. You just such a great motivator for women, Susan.

Speaker 2: 1:10:21

I hope so. Um, you know, I, I, I do work out like this week. I was flipping those times. Yeah. I saw that, that sledge hammer and I've been really enjoying that. I'm on my way to work right now. I'm actually doing this in my workout stuff. And I'm gonna, I'm really only gonna do like stretching today. Cause I'm doing that five day fast. Yeah. So I, I only have so much energy I can expect.

Speaker 1: 1:10:42

Yes.

Speaker 2: 1:10:43

So, um, by the fourth day of the fast though, man, your mind just clears and you can think of the most incredible things. And then you take this giant P and you're like, how could I take this giant

Speaker 1: 1:10:59

When you're not eating?

Speaker 2: 1:11:00

It's like, so giant, you wanna call your family in to gaze upon it. And then you realize, oh, that's all the cellular debris that my body has cleaned out of my system. And that I'm, I'm just, I'm defecating all the zombie cells and the broken cells and the bad mitochondrial batteries and all the stuff. It's literally cleaning things up. A lot of people do those long fasts, the five day prolongs for like cleaning up, you know, um, skin, tears, and any kind of like woo and stuff, because your body goes and fixes all that stuff. When it's not digesting food, when its resources aren't totally digestion.

Speaker 1: 1:11:42

Is your husband doing it with you?

Speaker 2: 1:11:44

Yeah, he does it with

Speaker 1: 1:11:45

Me. Oh, beautiful.

Speaker 2: 1:11:46

Yeah, because we like to reset. We like to reset really about every quarter before I got COVID we would reset every quarter. Yeah. Um, this is the first fast I've done since I got long COVID it's taken me it's two years this week since I got long COVID oh my gosh. So, um, I'm building back, I'm back to exercising and fasting and doing the things that really give you the longevity. The anti-aging the energy have desire.

Speaker 1: 1:12:15

Yeah. You look amazing. And this has been an amazing conversation. I just wanna thank you so much for coming today, Susan.

Speaker 2: 1:12:22

Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 1:12:34

Join next week where I cover off more exciting topics. I hope to continue to engage you and excite you and show you that living in your forties, fifties, and beyond can be exciting, balanced, and helpful bye for now.